Music is about soul recuperation. The irritated, tired or depressed soul can be lubricated, lightened and lifted soon after you immerse yourself in music, either by listening to or playing it. It is no wonder that music becomes a trendy commercial therapy for many people. For me, music is a life-time companion through good or bad times.

            Music was first introduced to me by my father, who was a self-taught cello, guitar, Jinghu and keyboard player. He even hand carved a violin when he learned carpenter skills.  I grew up seeing that black enameled curvy four-string instrument hanging on the wall. He wanted to pass on his flaming passion for music instruments, melody and harmony to me. At the age of 6, I started to learn playing foot propelled reed organ from my father. (At that time, poor Chinese families could not afford the piano.) I remember at the very first lesson, I was instructed to play by both hands. It felt weird, stretching and harnessing my nerves to manipulate both right and left hands in coordinated movement.

In a sense, music is my closest childhood playmate. I spent 12 years running scales up and down, learning new pieces and bettering them over and over again. I would practice and play for hours, look out of the window, take a breath and refocus on the music or scales. I was mostly seated before the instrument during my childhood, my feet paddling for the wind and my fingers striking on the keys for, hopefully, music. I learned many pieces from a hundred-year-old yellow thick music book, published in Japan. When I was in my third grade, I gave my first on-stage performance for all my teachers and classmates from my elementary school. The piece was “On the Sea”, depicting a boat sailing on the sea. That was a huge fear for me and pride for my family.

When the time came I had to part with my dear reed organ, I cried in my room for a long time. I cherished the 6 years’ company of the instrument, the joy and the pain, the sun and the rain with it. The summer before I went to middle school, I finally had my own piano, a heavy black instrument with tranquil surface reflecting like a mirror and a long row of distinctive black-and-white keys. I had a hard time adjusting the finger muscles to the hard keys and to the subtlety of its volume fluctuation. It was like making a new friend. Not long after, I started to enjoy playing with this new friend.  I realized that people can develop a meaningful relationship with an instrument.

I treasure each piece I learned by different composers and try to relate to the composers by sympathizing with them and imagining how they might have felt when composing the music. Among all the 50 or so pieces in my repertoire, La Mer by Debussy is my favorite piece. After a repetitive perpetuation of western “metered” music, I find in this piece a freedom of breath. Its nocturnal, dream-like quality by its dissonance and motley of colors mesmerized me. Each time I played it, I had a new feeling and fantasy. I also admire Mozart and Beethoven for their virtuosity of classical music and their restless quest for the music from their soul.

Music mysteriously directed the path of my life. When choosing between science and art in high school, I went for art and humanities; when deciding on undergraduate major, I went for English literature; when I came to Hawaii, I gave up the admission to Master of Accounting program for Apparel Design and Merchandizing. Somehow, the music I played through the years led me to where I am today. But I never think of music as a major, because I don’t think I have that much talent. Music is something special in my life, more than a hobby, a skill or a profession.

 As I aged, my horizon of music expanded. When I was traveling, music by different instruments always fascinated me. I often bought a landmark instrument from a place for my father. I have bought Coconut Shell instrument from Bali and a Ukulele from Hawaii.

One unforgettable music experience during my traveling is playing drum ensemble with Bali beach boys. At twilight, the milky beach echoed the vibrate rhythm from four drums played by these tanned handsome beach boys. I was fortunate to find and join them in expressing our joy under the tropical sky. I played the lowest key drum, hitting alternately by right and left palms, then other drummers merged in, and I heard the interlocking rhythm from drums of different pitches woven into a luxurious piece, accompanying the breaking waves not far away.

My recent music zest is Chinese music. Oddly enough, I started to appreciate my folk music this late. Awakened by the urge of identification with my own culture, I plunged into learning a Chinese instrument, Guzheng. I had dreamed of playing the horizontal harp for a while, planning to play it after retirement as a way of meditation. One day, I came across the biggest instrument store outside Shanghai Conservatory of Music. The minute I heard the finger glided through the 21 strings in pentatonic harmony, like a tumbling stream, I could not resist but taking it home.

I had learned the instrument from a Yangzhou teacher in Shanghai for a couple of months. After two classes, I attempted the classical piece “Fishing Boat Song at Sunset”. I felt like finding my musical home, finally, after so many years of wondering in western classical music and playing the piano. The tunes I heard since childhood finally came to live and to anchor my life floating in a foreign land to my root.

The Piano can display intimidating difficulty in ten-finger limitation, while the Guzheng, with continuous pitches by pushing down and loosing up the strings by the left hand, has its own charm, by simulating human’s voice and nature’s sound. I would think Piano more mechanical and Guzheng more natural.

There are times, at a quiet moment, when it is raining or the wind is blowing, the music flowing from Guzheng becomes One with the natural elements. And I feel the harmony between me, music and nature. I feel the joy and peace deep down from my soul.

Music is for the soul, from the soul and in the soul. For me and I believe for many of us.