(Got to scribble down something or October will pass without a trace. Sorry for English again.)

 

Today, I was asked "what's your first impression of Hawaii". Without knowing it, my mouth mumbled "big big huge huge beautiful beautiful trees". I guess I said duplicate adjectives to give my brain time to search for the right word. Then it clicked "emerald city". Honolulu is like an emerald city, wherever your eyes turn to, green you see. And I like that new glittering image for the city.

 

I like the place better. There is discrimination for sure. You are a newcomer, with a strange name ("X" sound is a killer for English tongues) and nobody look. People don't know you and most likely, they don't like you or care about you. One day, I heard the comment from a black-eyeshadowed girl to a pink-eyeshadowed girl, "you look Asian today". I don't know what that implies. But Asian is still something remote and strange, even at 21st century, on Oahu, the most Asianized place in the US.

 

But today, I had a nice treatment I never imagined before. In music class, the teacher talked about Chinese music. After introducing Confucianism, he started to talked about Chinese language. He showed us "gu qin", 7-string zither without bridges or frets. He said "qin" means string instrument, so we have "yang qin" (dolcema, imported) "gang qin" (piano, steel) "xiao tiqin" (violin, little held up) "da tiqin" (cello, big held up) "zhong tiqin" (viola, middle-sized held up). And the word and meaning has connection, unlike the Roman languages.

 

Then, he picked up my first name "xing" as an example and let me teach all 30 students how to pronounce the name in a Chinese way. I heard the 30 mouthes simultaneosly uttered the foreign-flavored sound with efforts and respect. They were trying to break through the barriar, which is very hard to break. And that's a good try, making me feel dignified for being a Chinese.

 

After class, I fingered gu qin, the most prestigious Chinese ancient instrument. I compared it to "slide guitar", known in China as Hawaiian guitar. The teacher said "No. Gu qin is thousands-years-old instrument. Guitar, hundreds. You cannot put them on the same level." Um, isn't it nice that he showed such a respect for gu qin. And ironically, in China, I had no chance to play it, but it took me coming to Hawaii to be able to get in touch with Chinese "old stuff".

 

There are two kinds of people going abroad. Those want to shed their Chinese identity and merge completely to American lifestyle and way. Others want to rediscover their Chinese identity and celebrate their being Chinese. I am more like the latter. Proud of my Chinese blood and eager to learn new stuff, including new experiences and ideas about Chinese way.